What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
