Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
