If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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