I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
