Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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