Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Success! We fucked roommates!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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