So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
