The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
