remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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