google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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