In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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