I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize