Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
