i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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