ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
