Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
