You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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