I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
