shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my sisters under your porch take her home
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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