My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
