The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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