I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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