So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Too much gin, very little bucket
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
