Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
