I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
