dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
