I seem to have left my pride at pride
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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