You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
