you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
