we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
