I was born with a shot glass in my hand
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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