But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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