so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
