puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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