"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize