do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
