you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
