So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
