He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize