apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
