I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
