Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
