No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
