a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
