i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
