Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
