Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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