he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I won the penis lottery.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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