eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
