"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
