that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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