see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
