Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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