Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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