Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
