that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
