im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
