seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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