you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
