GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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